"This is Barry Spirito giving what looks like might be the final broadcast of LIMOS. Ever."

His car was parked in an abandoned lot. The sky was dark as clouds roiled overhead like oily rags in a laundry machine.

"Here is the latest list of anomalies."

"All birds have disappeared. Even migrations have stopped. As far as we can tell, may not be any birds left on earth. Our man in London reports increased activity in the tunnels which may mean they have gone underground."

"Cats, too, have been on the move. We have reports of cats streaming by the thousands toward Manhattan. Shortly after the Chrysler building was evacuated for a terrorist threat, they were seen entering it by the millions."

"Dogs are barking like crazy, and escaped pets are becoming an epidemic."

"Ants are swarming. They have entered buildings and started to infest electronic equipment, books, warehouses, almost methodically."

"Seismic activity in Antarctica has reached record levels. Geiser-like geologic activity has formed in a vast hexagonal perimeter, covering the continent in thick clouds."

"The statues of Easter Island and Olmec heads of Latin America have disappeared while at the same time giant stone robots have been sighted walking out of the oceans. Their paths move across the continent in straight lines toward New York City. Some have begun to jog at up to 40 miles per hour, and are projected to reach the convergence point in just a few days. A few have already started arriving, climbing out of the Atlantic."

Spirito put down the script and sighed.

"Folks, I don't know if this is the end of days. My instinct tells me... well, anyway, if it is the end, let me just say now that it has been the fulfullment of a lifetime dream to work with you. There is no greater pursuit than to uncover the truth. And I just want to say..."

"WHUMP."

The front end of of Spirito's taxi was hit by a huge, falling piece of stone. The body curled upward and hung at a 30 degree angle. Climbing out of the wreckage and falling to the ground, he looked up at the thing. A giant stone head returned the stare.

* * *

ANTARCTIC SCIENTISTS HAVING PARTY THEY ARE STINKING DRUNK STEAM GEYSERS MAKE THEM GIGGLE A PARROT FLIES INTO THE TENT AND TELLS THEM IT MIGHT BE IN THEIR BEST INTERESTS TO PACK UP AND LEAVE NOW

* * *

MORE END OF THE WORLD STUFF HAPPENING OUTSIDE NEWS REPORTS ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE ANIMALS ALL GOING CRAZY ANIMAL PSYCHIC CLAIMS THAT THEY ARE RISING AGAINST UNFAIR TREATMENT AND THEY JUST WANT TO WEAR CLOTHES LIKE WE DO ANTS BREAK INTO THE STUDIO AND CARRY HER AWAY